Maybe this isn’t true – who knows, but supposedly the Tango (dance) was invented in the Quilombos (brothels) as the bored Johns waiting to take their turn, would playfully dance with each other, the early tango dance would be an exaggerated almost G-rated Knife Fight but with no knives, just a deep embrace choreographed in staccato movements which depended hugely on the dancers interlocking into the same rhythm. One depended on the other, the other could not move without the other… which brings us to today’s topic, el Clásico.

The Tango, the timeless art of seduction.

No, not Barcelona v Real Madrid… not Boca Juniors v River Plate… no… not even Nacional v Peñarol. The topic of the day is “El Clásico” between Argentina and Uruguay. Two national teams that for a while ONLY danced with each other until the world got bigger on them, and once that happened these two nations stopped needing each other. You could say they each decided to go their separate ways… they ghosted each other before the term “ghosted” was even invented. It was a mutual separation.

When the Clásico used to matter.

But every time these two sides play, we’re told to expect fireworks, so we watch. The best example is probably the highlight of the Tabárez garrá reboot i.e., the 2011 Copa America quarterfinal these two sides played and which Uruguay won on penalties. Four other matches ranging from OK to Abysmal have followed it.

October 12, 2012 – with Brazilian Referee Leandro Vauden deciding to only dish out yellow cards to Uruguay, Uruguay lost 3-0 to Argentina in a game which was decided in the second half when Messi decided to annihilate Uruguay for the fun of it.

October 15, 2013 – The return match played in Montevideo, saw Argentina field a weakened B-side which featured Maxi Rodriguez (now with Peñarol) as their only “star” player while Rodrigo Palacio and Erik Lamela completed the roster which DIDN’T feature Messi, Higuaín, Agüero, Mascherano or Di Maria, Uruguay eventually won 3-2 but Argentina had managed to draw 2-2.

June 15, 2015 – Argentina won 1-0 in Uruguay’s anemic defense of their 2011 Copa America title. While Tabárez preferred this defensive bottleneck, Uruguay’s lack of goals all throughout the 2015 Copa America signaled how much they missed Luis Suárez who was still serving a suspension for his bite on Chiellini in the 2014 World Cup.

September 1, 2016 – three years after their 3-0 win over Uruguay and in the same Stadium in Mendoza, Argentina with one man down defeated Uruguay 1-0 in a similar match to the Copa America borefest of 2015. Uruguay despite having Luis Suárez back in the lineup were unable to take advantage of the numeric superiority.

What Went Wrong?

Well for starters, for Uruguay, that special hatred they used to reserve for Argentina is now being given exclusively to Chile, while Argentina now considers the dead on arrival “Super-Clásico” with Brazil as their ONLY clásico (as per Humbertito Grondona, Julio Grondona’s asshole son). Just like the Tango is no longer the timeless art of seduction, maybe the Clásico has become irrelevant but entertaining or not, on August 31st… the dance continues!

Yorugua Yorugua 1 likes

21 Responses so far.

  1. NicoGF NicoGF says:

    this suarez doesnt get much playing time with his national team for one reason or another. starting to second guess his priorities, is it his manager, his club, where do we come? hope he recovers though, as we dont have plenty of winning cards.

    Current score: 2
    • Yorugua Yorugua says:

      Ha-ha – Glad you said it, every time an important game shows up on the horizon, he picks up a mysterious injury – Very, Very Strange!

      Right now he only cares about $ – the faster people accept this fact, the faster we can get on with our lives!

      Aguante LA CELESTE first and foremost!

      Current score: 2
    • plaga9celeste plaga9celeste says:

      no seas malo.. he’s got partial ligament tear on the posterior cruciate on the back of the knee.. the high mileage stars to show..
      injuries are common as players complete pre-season training.. abel also injured with an achilles tear..
      it is tabarez’ fault for not citing a bigger group.. the son of a bitch is losing his marbles..
      now we have to beg for pereiro lozano or cabecita cause the time to reserve international players has expired.. and it’s up to the particular club to allow the player to participate and they can just deny..
      he can bring a local player.. maybe aguirre..
      we are down to cavani stuani and rolan.. dismal..

      Current score: 3
    • Yorugua Yorugua says:

      You had me at Stuani – LMAO, these aren’t choices you’re giving me here… these are reasons to watch something else on August 31st!

      Current score: 4
  2. FourThreeThree FourThreeThree says:

    http://www.lanacion.com.ar/2046649-seleccion
    Mundial Rusia 2018: la selección argentina volverá a la zona de clasificación directa por un fallo del TAS

    Claim that Chile will drop down to play-off position and Uruguay and Argentina will be neck-and-neck.

    Current score: 2
    • Yorugua Yorugua says:

      Teams 2 through 6 will be neck and neck – Argentina is being helped generously by the CORRUPT MAFIA CONMEBOL & SATANIC FIFA … Wilmer Valdez is a SCUMBAG, he’s lying in bed with AFA – this will end bad, even if we qualify expect a quick exit, there are no friends, favors here. Only a Corrupt Football Body like Uruguay’s AUF would keep Tabarez around, for what? he’s been done since 2012 – this is a parody of a national team. The whole football logic X’s and O’s comes down to whether Suarez can play.

      If we get eliminated it’ll be Casal’s fault, if Suarez goes off the reservation again, FIFA’s out to get us….. Tabarez had to go, should’ve exited the dark comedy but he’s still waiting for a curtain call…. arghhhhhhhhh.

      Shit… that second cup of espresso was too much. Let me fuck off now.

      Current score: 1
  3. FourThreeThree FourThreeThree says:

    The list is out….
    GK – Fernando Muslera, Martín Silva, Martín Campaña
    D – Diego Godín, Sebastián Coates, José María Giménez, Maximiliano Pereira, Gastón Silva, Martín Cáceres, Mauricio Lemos
    M – Nahitan Nández, Egidio Arévalo Ríos, Matías Vecino, Federico Valverde, Carlos Sánchez, Jonathan Urretaviscaya, Diego Laxalt
    F – Cristhian Stuani, Abel Hernández, Luis Suárez, Edinson Cavani, Diego Rolan

    Current score: 3
    • plaga9celeste plaga9celeste says:

      i think lodeiro is in..

      Current score: 1
    • FourThreeThree FourThreeThree says:

      You are right, Lodeiro is on the list. Meanwhile, Britos, the only Uruguayan good enough to play in the Premier, and who scored against Liverpool today, is absent. Britos has played in the best leagues on good teams his whole life and never a mention.

      Current score: 1
    • Yorugua Yorugua says:

      Mono/Arevalo/Hernandez/& Rolan should have their passports incinerated. Lets do it now before we accidentally qualify to Russia and Tabarez feels indebted to take them there.

      Current score: 5
    • Yorugua Yorugua says:

      @P9C – Lodeiro in MLS is gangsta! – too bad the rest of the football world doesn’t play at the slow ass “90 degree weather, bring the ball up slowly – zero pressing – MLS level”

      Current score: 0
    • plaga9celeste plaga9celeste says:

      i live in the US and it is unwatchable football.. i’d rather watch the mexican league on telemundo..
      speaking of.. lozano off to a good start playing a winger/3rd striker position.. he could be the guy..
      also pelo santos just acquired by Gijon..
      my personal favorite is still pereiro that plays a No.2 or even winger striker these days.. with a rather poor supporting cast, he manages to make plays and appears to have finally turned the corner..

      Current score: 1
    • Yorugua Yorugua says:

      Liga MX is garbage – I’ll watch the dogshit MLS thank you very much, not saying its better – but after watching so much bad soccer here in the US of A, I got used to it.

      Worst leagues out there: try watching the Ecuadorian League, drunk or sober and get back to me…. you’ll want to burn your eyes afterwards!

      Current score: 1
  4. plaga9celeste plaga9celeste says:

    hardly publicised, de arrascaeta out with a stress fracture, possible for the remainder of qualifiers..
    on a “bright” note, Tenfield gossip column says Pereiro gets the call..
    the streets says Aguirre and Cabecita already in full play mode should get the notch over Stuani and Rolan (both with uncertain club future)
    Tabarez says we will qualify, or so he expects it..
    feel better now?
    the best tango ever written has never been released.. it was a jam we recorded with el tata, el flaco ricardo and moi back in 1983 in Houston, Tx..
    unfortunately i have misplaced the tape just when i was looking to finally publish it on youtube..

    Current score: 1
    • FourThreeThree FourThreeThree says:

      Of course, he says we will qualify. What did people expect him to say? He doesn’t explain why or how. Even by his own admission every team in the Conmebol plays better football than Uruguay.
      Ten years at the helm and we are probably worse off now playing style than we were when he started. And this at a time when the NT coach doesn’t need to deal with the AUF politics like in the past or with the contractors.

      Current score: 4
    • plaga9celeste plaga9celeste says:

      of course tabarez proves common sense/vox populi don’t know jack.. and takes on the 2 biggest games of the year with the same 2 undisputed forwards and absolutely nothing after that.. not a single game-changing player in the bench..
      i disagree with the valverde citation.. too green.. has not even played an official 1st division game anywhere.. not even in pen~arol.. there is time in the future to get him acclimated to the team.. we are in a due-or-die spot..
      arguable on urreta.. good player that has started well in the current mexican liga.. but he sits the Arg. game..
      most of the perennials that never go away remain.. only cebolla missing..
      inexplicable omission of alex silva..
      God help us..

      Current score: 1
    • Yorugua Yorugua says:

      @P9C/433 – I’m sorry but Cebolla should be arrested for impersonating a football player, saw bits of the Clásico on Monday… Peñarol fans should be refunded their membership dues, that guy is a parade float, goes up and down the block and does absolutely nothing… NADA… Zip. Even Estoyanoff who in his last year at Peñarol played at the level of dog shit looks better than Cebolla does today.

      Current score: 1
    • plaga9celeste plaga9celeste says:

      don’t dog el cebolla too much.. he still may get the call since he plays locally..

      Current score: 1
    • Yorugua Yorugua says:

      Maybe? – He’ll get the call up. Should still get arrested, Cebolla 07-09 was a good player, this Cebolla eh…. not so much.

      Current score: 2
  5. NicoGF NicoGF says:

    Very accurate. I dont expect fireworks because there is no logic reason for it. We can put up a battle but argentina with sampa & beccacece will try to push for the win, meanwhile we will try to tie with the 2010 squad or similar, with owt you cant hope for anything else.
    In wonderland though, we would dream about calling up guys like torreira, bentancur, valverde, pereiro to fix our midfield, and also hybrid laterales who can defend but join the attack tirelessly laterales like maxi olivera/espino/olaza/alex silva/gunino/ricca/varela

    Current score: 5
    • Yorugua Yorugua says:

      Good comment, there’s reality and then there’s Wonderland – Wonderland is fun but Tabarez doesn’t live in Wonderland he lives in Even Steven Country (the draw).

      Current score: 4

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