While 2012 took a huge crap on most of us, it was equally shitty for Uruguay’s national team… so in late October I thought to myself, “hey, I don’t think anybody will give a rat’s ass if the LCB Awards DON’T come out”. But this being a new year and all and me being in a giving kind of mood, I said to myself, “It’s time for the LCB Awards… well the Belated 2012 LCB Awards!”
For those unfamiliar with the LCB awards, it’s the Awards LCB gives out to the best coach, best player, best game, best goal and well… you get the point, it’s our way –– well really my way since I hate consensus groups of any kind –– of celebrating the best Uruguay had to offer, but celebrating anyone for what they did in 2012 was a tough sell, but a couple of bottles of Stella Artois took care of that, mighty quick.
2012 was bad, sooooooo bad. Uruguay ruined their perfect Olympic record, lost to a team that only plays in the Olympics every 40 years or so and then went on a horrible WCQ losing streak where lopsided losses became the norm. Strangely enough, the feel good love that’s usually afforded to Óscar Tabárez and crew went out the window, this forced the NT manager to hold an impromptu press conference shortly before the last game of the year was played in Poland. At this press conference Tabárez explained his call-up policy and threw in his 2 cents regarding those 4 games Uruguay played between the months of September and October. The Poland friendly gave everyone a glimpse of a Celeste squad that could actually pass the ball. It wasn’t missed on anyone that Diego Forlán did not play in the match but before we can all agree that Forlán should maybe take a backseat from here on end, Suárez & Cavani each had subpar games for the NT this year, real stinkers too and who can forget the bang-up job both did in the 2012 Olympics.
So there is this mess that Tabárez needs to figure out in 2013. An aging squad in need of a blood transfusion. But there is no quick fix solution out there, I think that much we learned as the year played out much to our horror. One of the best qualities Tabárez has as a manager is his stoic patience. So you won’t see El Maestro pressing the lever on the steel trap door under any player because he played the game, knows what it’s like to get booed and knows that the best panacea for a difficult time is to simply hold the course. Sure it can lead to disasters which was absolutely the case for September and October but maybe he knows what he’s doing? The Poland friendly revealed that the Old Man is not locked into some absurd narrative where only “el Equipo de Memoria” is worth a damn, that game revealed Nico Lodeiro as a potential solution for 2013 and not the question mark he had been for all of 2011. Cavani also looked good in the Poland game, enough so for us to forgive him for playing without a pulse in London. But the Poland friendly was ONLY a friendly, only one game, for most of the year, Uruguay could barely close out games, had a tough time with some crappy opponents (like Perú and Bolivia) and reminded all of us that the World Cup Qualifiers are here for real, no one is cruising to the finish line, certainly not Uruguay who will probably fight tooth and nail for that fifth place spot in order to go to Brazil in 2014.
The Blog had two awards which unfortunately were listed as Vacant since winners could not be selected, you’ll know which ones when you come across them. To make up for this injustice as far as I’m concerned, I came up with a new category this year, Dumbest Movie Ever… And while the Blog experienced an unexpected influx of cash courtesy of a couple of gambling websites, which I hope all of you are clicking the shit out of, there was no musical group we could get at such short notice to play at the award show. A compromise was reached however… well without further adieu, I give you the Belated 2012 LCB Awards.
Game of the Year
VACANT –– Lets be honest when Uruguay won in the Qualifiers last year, they looked horrible (Perú match) and when they lost, they looked dreadful (Argentina, Colombia and Bolivia matches). Sadly there was no Game of the Year involving a Uruguayan team for 2012.
As I mentioned earlier, we had a hard time coming up with a musical act to perform, but I found this vinyl record… you’re welcomed to infer whatever you want in the lyrics.
Huevos Bien Puestos Award
VACANT –– Ahhh the defenders were out to lunch most of the year. I happen to think this is still an important award, just don’t think anybody rose to the occasion and I really don’t want to celebrate mediocrity, any defender part of Uruguay’s squad in September and October should be ashamed of themselves! Why? Because the aptly named “Huevos Bien Puestos” award went vacant because of their poor effort.
Dumbest Movie Ever
The Dark Knight Rises –– yeah I know, what does Batman have to do with anything, let me just say this, I wasted nearly 3 hours of my life watching this turd, I would rather watch all of Uruguay’s September & October losses all over again than watch this colossal piece of shit again. Just to give you a clue as to what we’re dealing here with, Batman is lured by the Catwoman into a sewer where Bane breaks Batman’s back and by the end of the film, Batman hooks up with Catwoman and ends up taking her to Paris! WTF?! Are they serious??? Who wrote this crap??? I want my 3 hours back!!!
Qué Bien Award
Melii Cuadrado –– Previously known as the Qué Lomo Mami Award, regardless of what you want to call this award, this award went down to the wire, we could easily have prized Martina Graf who was interviewed by this Blog in 2012, making her the first Uruguayan to win this award (remember the Paraguayan Larissa Riquelme won it in 2011) but then Nico dug up this Argentinean beauty who was kind of enough to provide some photographs of herself for the Blog, F.O.C.; free of charge! Apologies to Graf but for the second straight year in a row, a foreigner takes home the prize, Congratulations to Melii Cuadrado, this year’s winner!
Coach of the Year
El Tola Antúnez. You didn’t honestly expect me to give Tabárez an award did you? For 2012??? I gave it to Julio “el Tola” Antúnez. El Tola coached Liverpool (Uruguay) into the round of 16 of the Copa Sudamericana, although they lost to Independiente 4-2 on aggregate, this is the farthest Liverpool have gotten in the Copa Sudamericana tournament. His reward? Well Liverpool promptly fired him when he lost control of the team during the Apertura. Congrats to El Tola!
La Verdad de la Milanesa
Gastón Ramírez. Still a work in progress, but there is something there, now if only he could show it on a more consistent level. He’s not a playmaker in a Riquelme type reading of that position but he is a player who maybe replaces Forlán on the NT one day, just don’t know whether that’s today, tomorrow or 5 years from now?
“Gol of the Year”
For most of 2012, Suárez had the GOTY all wrapped up when he scored that masterpiece which completed his first hat-trick against Norwich City but then Ibrahimović scored that bicycle kick against England from the boondocks; End-game. Ibrahimović becomes the first non Uruguayan to win this award. Congrats to Ibra… In case you were in a coma for the month of November, YouTube the goal, trust me, it’s worth it.
Finally we come to the moment most of you have been waiting for… the LCB Player of the Year award. Our very own jinx category but an important category nonetheless.
PLAYER OF THE YEAR
Álvaro “El Chino Recoba –– Suárez and Cavani while performing very well for their respective clubs were dreadful for Uruguay during the Olympics & so-so for most of 2012. You say, wait a minute, they each scored 3 goals for the Sky-Blue, yeah but so what, only two of the six goals combined were in World Cup Qualifiers and Uruguay did not win their WCQ games when Cavani or Suárez scored in 2012… I had to look elsewhere for my Player of the Year and came up with El Chino Recoba. Yes it’s true, Recoba is a has-been, still divides opinion but what a year he had. El Chino scored two Olympic goals for Nacional in 2012… that’s two not one! Essentially he won Club Nacional the Uruguayan championship when all seemed lost, his overall play for Nacional was sensational, for a short while when Uruguay’s NT was crapping out in the months of September and October, many people brought up his name as a possible solution to La Celeste’s woes, this despite being 36 years old! While it’s unlikely he will get ever get re-capped by Uruguay’s NT, I felt the kind of year Recoba put in had to be prized and so, El Chino Recoba is LCB’s Player of the Year for 2012.
Well that takes care of the dirty business.. I hope all of you enjoyed this as much as I have. Congratulations to all of our winners. In 2013, lets hope Uruguay’s NT rebounds from whatever 2012 was supposed to be.
PAST and PRESENT winners
LCB Player of the Year: Nico Lodeiro (2009); Diego Forlán (2010); Luis Suárez (2011) and Álvaro Recoba (2012)
LCB Coach of the Year: Óscar Tabárez (2010); Óscar Tabárez & Sergio Markarián (2011) and Julio Antúnez (2012)
LCB Game of the Year: INDEPENDIENTE Vs DEFENSOR SPORTING, Copa Sudamericana 2nd Leg of Round of 16 (October 19, 2010); PEÑAROL Vs SANTOS, Copa Libertadores Finals First Leg Match (June 15, 2011); VACANT for 2012.
Huevos Bien Puesto: Egidio Arévalo-Ríos (2011); VACANT for 2012.
Qué lomo Mami/QUE BIEN! –– Larissa Riquelme (2011); Melii Cuadrado (2012)
La Verdad de la Milanesa: Mathías Cubero (2011); Gáston Ramírez (2012)
“GOL of the Year” –– Santiago García’s Gol Vs Peñarol on May 9th 2011; Zlatan Ibrahimović’s Gol vs England on November 14th 2012.